They're All Going to Laugh at You...Let Them

And then you get to the bank and they will ooohhh and ahhhhh.... Right? So many times we get caught up in what everyone is going to think of us when we want more than anything to embrace our inner weirdo, and yet, we still hold ourselves back. News flash!

We're all weirdos!

Photo Thanks to Joshua Coleman

Remember the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland? And the Cheshire Cat, grinning in his fabulous-ness, "we're all mad here"

Alice had such a time in the land of wonder, discovering so many interesting characters who were all toying with her, finding it amusing how afraid (naïve) she was, demonstrating how innocently she was viewing her world and how confusing it was to see it from new perspectives.

It can feel that way as we move through life, figuring out our own identities, who is friend, who is foe, and how we fit in, or don't as it may be, and eventually we can feel like we are going mad with the decisions and choices and lack of empathy we think people have for us in our plight.

But perhaps we would be better off not worrying about so much what other people think, and instead focus on who we are becoming in the meantime. I mean, after all, most others have enough of a time worrying about their own self image, self preservation, and looking after their own troubles, right? Isn't it mighty presumptuous of us to think they sit around and worry about us all day, waiting for us to make a mistake in order to have something to laugh about or spread a bit of gossip?

Shift your Perspective

Just like the kids walking through the doorway of the looking glass in Narnia, when Alice goes down the rabbit hole, and the Indian in the cupboard coming to life; we all have the ability to change our lives seemingly magically if we are willing to change our mindset and perspectives in how we look at a situation.

It can be extremely challenging because of the known modus operandi, however, with a little work and effort, we can put things into a more helpful way of seeing them if we gather information and reason with ourselves rather than give in to the emotions of fear and disappointment.

Let's explore, shall we? If I'm creating a piece of creative work, say a painting, and I haven't done this particular style of painting before, say, I've only done still lifes, then my expectations should not be to have angels sing with each stroke and then my next gig be to paint the Sistine Chapel. If I'm just learning to play a new musical instrument I may not even be able to get a full melody out, let alone a few notes in a row consistently and effortlessly.

I can remember my own fingers bleeding and getting calloused before I could play a chorus of a song that I didn't even like that much but expanded my ability to play the hardest notes when I was a teenager. I also remember knowing my limitations, and one summer was all I could take of that, once school was in, I knew I could not dedicate that kind of time struggling with something that came naturally.

But I knew that good grades and friendships were easy for me to cultivate, so I threw myself into that effort. I let go of the inner critic, and was able to capitalize on my strengths, enjoy, and let go of the rest. I didn't beat myself up for not being a rock star, I adjusted my perspective. It wasn't a life long dream to become a musician, just something I picked up and tried on like a dress that didn't fit, so I moved on. I loved myself as I am, and I aimed for something that could be attainable and in line with what I could do. Helping people, being the best version of me, and creating a life that feels good and fits like my favorite pair of worn jeans.

Who's Got the Last Laugh?

Ultimately, I did have those embarrassing moments when I thought people were making fun of me, and even as an adult I've run into some catty, petty, small minded people. I try my best to steer clear and remember that anyone willing to gossip to me is going to gossip about me too. And then I let it go. I'm not the world police, I can only control myself, my thoughts, and my actions, and I choose to think some pretty awesome things about life.

I dance in front of strangers, I make funny faces in public, I goof around and laugh and have a nice time with just about everyone I meet. Life is much too short to be concerned with what others might be all fuddy duddy about, so I choose to live with a laugh, a smile, and some play in my days. If something doesn't feel right, I let it go; from forcing a partnership to a creative endeavor, to even some of my former sacred rituals, it has to come from soul and be genuine in order for it to be worth spending the time cultivating and doing. Anyone who is going to try and make me behave disingenuously to make themselves feel better is going to find me missing in a jiffy, right after I flash one last smile goodbye. ; - )